Who is K.B.?

In her own words:

I’m a baker, a reader, a mom, a friend and a bunch of other lucky things. I am a terrible housekeeper, a good cook and I don’t mind laundry. I like to work in the garden and laze in the sun. I like to run around outside, and am equally happy with a nice cup of tea and a sit down. I read way more than I should, all things considered, but have barely scratched the surface of all that is out there to read. I play board games and I have some of the best friends a person could ask for. God has been unbelievably kind.

 

And if some of the things that happen to me seem far-fetched (like, say, the number of times I’ve had vacuum cleaners catch on fire) there are witnesses to most of it. And the bonus is that someday something weird but good will happen. Statistically HAS to. It can’t all be weird and bad! Hah!

 

Statistics have caught up to me: something weird and wonderful has happened. Against all expectations in the year I spent being fifty I met and married the most wonderful man imaginable. And gained extra children in the process. And a 101 year old house to live in! See? Balance, it’s all about balance.

In the words of Chris, her husband:

Wedding day photoI’m not sure if I can ever live up to the “most wonderful man imaginable” title but I can tell you she made me feel like that every single day.  I thought I might share my eulogy to KB and hope that it will help you see her through my eyes:

K.B. didn’t see herself the same way I see her.   To me she was strong and intelligent and kind and stunningly beautiful but she was always so modest.  One of our morning rituals was as K.B. was getting ready to head off to work I would look at her and say, “You are so beautiful!”.  She would bring her face close to mine and say, “If you keep telling me things like that I just might start to believe it.”  So I told her every day.  I’m not sure if she fully understood that her beauty was so much more than just physical appearance.  She radiated beauty from the very core of her being.  And every day she would wake up and I would see her for the first time that day… she took my breath away without fail.

 

Her capacity for giving and her intense kindness continually amazed me.  I can’t even begin to count the number of times in winter when we stopped to help someone get their car out of a snow bank.  I’m sure she rescued as many cars as any towing company in town.  That’s just who she was.  There was always time to lend a hand and everything else was secondary when she saw someone in need.  For someone so tiny she had such a huge heart.

 

I was always amazed at how she seemed to have managed to reach the age of 51 and she never suffered the same inhibitions that the rest of us seemed to have had forced on us.  Early on in our relationship she warned me that she was a bit crazy.  There were times when I would stop by to see her at work and catch her twirling around under a tree, barefoot in the grass with a huge smile on her face. Or she would drop everything to dance because one of her favourite songs came on.  And thunder storms!  She was like a kid let loose in a candy store with a fistful of cash.  Her eyes would get so big and she couldn’t stop bouncing and squealing.  To me, all of these things made her so beautiful and an absolute joy to have as my partner in life. Every day was an adventure.

 

K.B. loved to read the various lists on Cracked.com.  I don’t know if many people know this but K.B. had been accepted as a contributor to Cracked.com just recently.  In honour of K.B.’s love of Cracked.com lists I put together a very brief one called:

 

The Top 3 Nuggets of Wisdom Extracted From the Life of K.B. Sterling:

 

3) When it comes to anger, be lazy.  K.B. strongly believed that anger and bitterness were very strenuous emotions.  She said, “it’s so much easier just to be joyful” and she attributed her infectious happiness to being far too lazy to be anything but happy.  Anything else was just too much effort.

 

2) Dance.  It doesn’t matter what the situation is, there is never a bad time to dance.  If you’re sad… dance, if you’re angry, see #3 above then dance, if you’re happy… why aren’t you dancing? I can’t dance to save my life but K.B. endured many a crushed toe simply because there were times when we just had to wrap our arms around each other and dance.  I can tell you from my own experience that  letting yourself just dance for no reason will always, without fail put a smile on your face.  Dancing with someone you love for no particular reason at all is absolutely euphoric!

 

1) Be passionate.  This is something that K.B. and I always agreed on but she was far better at being passionate about life.  I lost her so many times in stores or walking through the park or just down the street because she saw something interesting and just had to take a look.  So many times when we were driving somewhere she would say, “Can we just turn down that street that takes us out of the city?  I need to see stars.” And we would end up at the side of a country road in the middle of nowhere looking up at the sky and she would be so incredibly excited and in complete awe.  The world is an amazing and wonderful place but you can’t truly see it without giving into your passion whatever it might be.

 


Over the past week many people have offered their condolences for my loss.  I really appreciate these thoughts and all of the support from people that I may not even have met before.  I have indeed lost a lot and there are times when all I can think about is what I’ve lost.  But in the end I have to say I have gained more than I ever could have imagined.  I have had the joy of sharing part of my life with someone who loved me so deeply and completely.  The depth of the love K.B. and I shared simply can’t be described but I hold it in my heart and I know that she will be with me there, always.  I have gained a new family.  K.B.’s have all become a part of my life and I love them just as if they have always been my family.

 

To K.B.’s children: there have been so many times where you have shown your mom’s incredible gift for caring and giving.  We are so proud of you and excited to see the people you will grow to be and I can’t help but love you both.

 

To K.B.’s Dad, Sister and Brother-in-law:  you may not know this but meeting you was what prompted me to ask K.B. to marry me.  I couldn’t believe that someone could be as wonderful as K.B. was.  Then K.B. took me to meet all of you and I knew that she had a truly good and loving family who helped her to become the most wonderful person I will ever know.  Meeting you, it was clear that  K.B. was TRULY THAT kind and loving and there was no pretense.

 

To my kids: I have seen first hand how K.B.’s love enveloped you both so gently that you probably didn’t even realize it but I could see how much that love nurtured you both and has helped you grow.  Every day I can see K.B.’s kindness reflected in you and again, I am so proud of you and I know K.B. was proud of you both.  So in spite of such profound loss I feel that I have gained so much more than I could have ever hoped for.

 

K.B., my love . . . you were a true gift and I am forever thankful for every second that we were able to share.  Every moment was complete joy and your incredible love made every day feel like the best day of my life.  I know that you are probably laughing and sharing stories with your mom and brother right now and I am happy that you won’t have to miss them anymore.  You will be in my heart from this day until the end of days because my love for you will never die.

5 Comments:

  1. That pretty much says it all. Earth is sadder and Heaven is happier. Kindness practiced daily can change the world.

  2. Chris, the website is terrific. Your words are saturated with inspiration and love, and if you were of the mind, I believe you could write an awesome book. Perhaps a tale of a quirky superheroine who changes the world through acts of kindness. (Since you have kind of already lived it, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch…) Thinking of you every day and trying to add kindness to each day.

    … “Auntie Annette”

  3. Thanks Annette, I wish I could take full credit but I have had a lot of help from Wynn Anne and Bronwyn and those two ladies have some real writing talent. But maybe the three of us could write a novel :-D.

    Thanks again for the support.


    Chris

    • Wynn Anne Sibbald

      Chris, I think you are as guilty of underestimating your writing talent as K.B. was. Your way with words was most certainly part of what drew her to you.

  4. This is so beautiful and I’m sorry for everyone who lost such a wonderful person in their lives. I’m reading more and more over here and I catch myself thinking “Find a kindness to do” all because of the K.B. Facebook page and now this blog.

Leave a Reply to Junk Drawer Kathy Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>